Well, this is embarrassing

I apologize for that last post. And any emotions it caused anyone one way or another. It was a false alarm. Sort of. Well, it was a false alarm in the way that I didn't kill anyone.

Though I probably should have.

Ryan's been getting gradually more and more withdrawn. He doesn't tell me of course, but I can tell that sometimes he doesn't know how he got one place or another. He's losing time at an increasing rate. There's only one thing that could have happened when he was alone with the slender man. And there's only one way to stop it.

I tried to yesterday of course. But this weird new thing called a conscience stopped me at the last minute. So this tells me a few things about myself and my situation. Mostly that I have changed.

Into a fucking pussy.

Of course He would find a way to make me feel like crap about myself regardless which way I chose.

So here I am, with a man whose soul is being sucked out sitting in my back seat.

And as smart as it would be, I just cannot let him die.

So, I suppose this is a good time to ask for suggestions.

He's testing me

And He knows I'm going to fail.

I've been running for some reason. Not sure why. I never used to do that. But the truth is there. And I run from it.

I don't want to kill him.

But I know I will.

Maybe I should give up. Take my punishment and put the leash back on.

It's all I've ever been good at.

Everyone knows it. Everyone says it.

An old dog can't learn new tricks.

All I wanted was something for myself.

Something only I created.

Something mine.

But He has to take that of course.

The one thing I didn't give Him.

Though perhaps this is a gift.

I know now.

No more pretending, no more flitting about thinking I can make something new out of my existence.

I was confronted with my baser nature.

And it will win.

I don't want it to, but it will.

And I will have new nightmares. Nightmares about the light I could have protected.

But crushed to save my own skin.

I don't want to kill him.

Except I do.

I really do.

And I have to.

Hello

Azrael hasn't posted in a while and he seems to want to avoid having to talk about recent events, so I guess for now posting duty will be taken over by me. Hi, I'm Elizabeth. Azrael is my grandfather. It's nice to meet you all!

The reason we've been so quiet is because we were attacked. We stopped at a gas station in between cities to refuel, which is par for the course travelling around as much as we have. Grandpa went to pump the gas, I went inside to pick out snacks, and Ryan went around back to the bathroom. Everything seemed normal, until it wasn't. The cashier grabbed me, the manager attacked Grandpa, and Ryan... well, he got the worst of it. Grandpa took down the manager, I managed to pull my gun and get into a standoff with the cashier, and Ryan got locked into the bathroom. It was a pretty good trap, I'll admit, especially since it's clear that the aim wasn't to kill us, just to get us out of the way so that the Slender Man could go after Ryan without us interfering.

Now, Ryan up until that point didn't know anything about the Slender Man. He'd been investigating the disappearances, the deaths, the mysterious fires, but he hadn't yet figured out what was behind all of it, which is why he found Grandpa-he'd figured out Grandpa was involved. But we hadn't told him about what was really causing all that yet, so his first exposure to him was getting beat down by him in a filthy gas station bathroom. Needless to say, he's in bad shape-or at least he was.

Interestingly. Ryan went panicked and nonverbal immediately afterward, and we grabbed him and started fleeing to somewhere safe where he could heal up and deal with things. But partway through the trip, he snapped out of it and has completely forgotten about the whole thing! He still has no idea about Slender Man or about what happened-he remembered getting locked in, then being in the car with us!

We're still taking refuge somewhere safe to let him heal up and try to figure out what the heck happened back there.