Thursday, September 11, 2014

I lost

Though not in the way I expected.

As unwilling as I was to go to an unknown location psychically sent to me in a dream by my literally monstrous ex boss, it was the only lead I had on Em. And stubborn as I am, I was not going to let my granddaughter suffer merely because I did not wish to do what He told me anymore. So I went where I was pointed.

I scouted the whole place out first, of course. Contrary to what most people believe, I am not an idiot. It was a warehouse. Which is pretty much the most typical thing ever, but Jess uses her imagination for other things.

Like, parties apparently.

She threw one. An actual, more or less for normal people, no cannibalism party. They weren't too great about filtering the guests, so I got inside pretty easy. The DJ played a lot of Kesha. So I went up to him and after some brief condolences asked him to play one more.

At the beginning of the first chorus, the wall exploded.

Another 'Gift' from the slender man was that Ryan has been remarkably lucid for the last few days. Him and Maggot proved a pretty decent distraction as I managed to get Em (not hard to find, Jessica's flair for the dramatic literally put her in plain sight) and untie her so she could run.

And then, it was just me and Jessica.

She ran, and I followed. Until we were somewhere private.

I had decided not to kill her.

Maybe that wasn't really a good idea, but there is a part of me that will always care for her. So I had come up with an alternative. I knew of a good psychiatric facility that wouldn't attract too much attention. Help her instead of worry about turning her into the police. And I showed the paperwork to Jess.

I guess I thought I could scare her. That if she saw I was still strong, just on a different path, she would leave all of us alone.

She didn't believe me.

And that's when I heard Em scream.

I had been too busy with Jess. Too busy trying to save both her and myself to worry about Em.

As always, a moment too late.

I ran back, to find Maggot taking care of Em. Jessica's bodyguard was on the ground, incapacitated with a gun in his hands.

I knew exactly what had happened.

And.... I didn't take it well.

I told Maggot to get Em to safety and Ryan to call the ambulance. So none of them saw it.

But I lost. right there. I let my monster out and I killed Andre.

I don't know how I feel right now. On one hand, I now have complete and totally proof that part of me will always be a psychopath.

On the other... I haven't strayed from my path either.

I don't know. Maybe David Banks can find a way to do some good anyway.


  1. Expresses concern people see me as expendable.

    Sends me through a hole in the wall, created by a fresh explosion, into a room full of armed thugs to act as a distraction.

    1. I don't see you as expendable. I see you as capable of doing it.

      Plus you had a me at shield with you.

  2. So you killed someone, but since you didn't know him it doesn't matter?

  3. Relapse is a part of recovery. That's what my doctors used to say to me.

  4. You killed one man. Remember how it made you feel: it may help you avoid it in the future.

    1. Remember how it made you feel after the fact. I get the sense he enjoyed the part where he did it.

    2. In the moment, he might have. But it almost sounds like he's feeling remorse for what he did.

    3. It's up to him to decide if he'll go back to his old ways or not. But, if he's having feelings of remorse, it means that he doesn't like that old way and may not want to go down that path again.

    4. We could sit here agreeing with each other all day if you like.

    5. You're agreeing with me? Huh, I'm not used to that...

    6. That is literally exactly what this post is about.