Grandpa has the mopes again. I don't blame him. I'm not even old enough to date, really, but this time of year still sucks. There's plenty of people I miss, so I can't even imagine what poor Grandpa must be going through. Or anyone else that's lost a spouse or a girlfriend or a boyfriend or whatever.
Valentines day sucks. Even super cheap candy isn't really enough to redeem it. Grandpa's miserable, Ryan's still checked out, and I can't really do much to fix any of this. Hugs from your granddaughter can only fix so much. Screw the stupid hallmark holiday for making people feel bad for not having someone.
Actually, Valentine's Day isn't a hallmark holiday. It originated from St Valentinus. The legend goes that in Roman times, marriage was temporarily banned as they thought it was discouraging soldiers from joining the army. Valentinus, a priest, continued to perform marriages in secret and was killed for it on February 14th (for what it's worth, there are records of a priest called Valentinus being executed on Feb 14th.) It is alleged that during his imprisonment, he sent a letter to the woman he loved and signed it as "from your Valentinus", i.e. "your Valentine".
ReplyDeleteAnd this information does not change my feelings about it.
DeleteAnd I never said it had to.
DeleteActually, it came from a Roman holiday called Lupercalia, which was an older pagan holiday that involved a lot more nudity. It, along with Saturnalia and Ostara and a bunch of other pagan holidays was Christianized and turned into a christian holiday to try to keep people from the sinful activities involved. St. Valentine's day was a pretty standard saint day for a while, until Shakespeare and other writers popularized it as a romantic holiday, and it didn't really take off as a huge deal until Hallmark started mass producing valentines in the early 20th century.
DeleteI meant Valentines day as we know it now.
DeleteAs for Lupercalia, that was celebrated in Rome, but it came from Pallantium before Rome was actually founded.
Also, if you're in Russia... don't buy wine for a Valentine. >:(
DeleteAlexandria, stop telling people what not to buy. Fuck your "ethics", if people want wine they will fucking get wine. Seriously. We are having a serious talk when I find you.
DeleteUh. What?
DeleteHer mother is Moldovan. Moldova suffered after the fall of the Soviet Union. Moldova mostly produces wine, Russia used to buy most of this wine. But they banned Moldovan wines because Moldova made a treaty with the European Union. And some of Russia's army has a presence in Moldova.
DeleteEssentially, you kids make too big a deal of matters you know nothing about, sometimes, you just need to sit down and keep your fucking mouth shut.
Funnily enough, people who tell kids to sit down and shut up aren't exactly encouraged here.
DeleteWhere's "here"?
DeleteLizabetka, you ever heard what comes out when Alexandria opens her mouth? I don't want to be made to hurt her again. That's not a good time for anyone.
" I don't want to be made to hurt her again..." So your saying you've already done harm to her? You touch even a single hair on her head, and you hear from me.
DeleteWell, if I'm going to be hearing from you, you'd better introduce yourself.
DeleteLook, I don't know who you are, but if you go around hurting kids, Grandpa won't like you very much.
DeleteI'm her father. Artsyom Syarheyevich Larin. Nice to meet you.
DeleteYour grandpa won't like me much? People who don't like me much are a dime a dozen, you know. So I don't care.
If many people like Grandpa didn't like you, you would.
DeleteHow do you know that isn't already the case?
DeleteBecause your head is still attached to your shoulders.
DeleteActually I don't dislike him.
DeleteA man who has so little self control that a teenage girl's words decide all of his actions?
Someone whose arguments are so unconvincing that the only way someone will listen is through violence?
A bit too pathetic to dislike, don't you think?
How will I sleep at night knowing some random prick thinks I'm pathetic? Oh wait. I'll sleep just fine, both eyes shut and sweet dreams.
DeleteJust this once it might be a good idea to listen to your daughter, you know.
Delete~
Both eyes shut, Tyomic? Well that's one way to end up dead.
DeletePissing me off is another way to end up dead. The quickest path, though maybe not the easiest. :)))))
DeleteOh Syarheyevich, I am not among the hapless young things you are so used to. I have far more blood on my hands than you have even seen. Please. Try to kill me. It will be amusing at the very least, though Sanna will be disappointed regardless of how it turns out.
DeleteAnd a little tip Tyomic? If someone is really so unimportant to you, perhaps you shouldn't spend time pissing around on their blog.
If you start a fight with us, Grandpa won't be the one who ends up dead.
Delete"Please"? Christ, you are literally asking for it.
DeleteI was a hitman, it was my fucking job to get blood on my hands. Maybe you've killed more than me, I dunno, I don't care. But then I also worked in avalanche rescue. If you're stupid, you'll think that counteracts it. If you're smart, you'll realise I'm a mountaineer and that you couldn't handle half the heights I've done.
That would be very useful if we planned on doing mountain climbing anytime soon.
DeleteOh, is this the part where we measure our penises? I like this game.
DeleteAlso a hitman. Lots of hitmen around these parts. For a while I was a hitman that killed other hitmen. Then I spent a good six years with the Slender Man, where pretty much everyone tried to kill me at one point or another. Sadly for them, they failed.
You do have me beat with the mountains. Though I don't see much of a reason to go /into/ the mountains. I'm not the one chasing you after all.
Oh, and something that I am unequivocally better at. I raised two children. One of which makes Sanna look like an angel. And I never hit them. Not once.
What is the term that I hear thrown around so much?
Come at me, Bro.
Really? You want me to come after you? Christ, RIP dude, hope you don't mind being remember as "that poor prick that bastard Belarusian killed off."
DeleteWould you prefer to be buried or cremated?
DeleteYou think you know Monsieur Azrael.....you think you can kill him....you think wrong, and you are a very silly little man who will die a very silly little death. I hope I get to be there! RAWR
DeleteIs that a question aimed at the general populous? Didn't realise you were attending your family reunion this Valentines.
DeleteOn second thought, maybe once Grandpa's done with you, we'll give you to the monster instead.
DeleteExcept, you wouldn't be giving me to The Monster. You'd be giving The Monster to me.
DeleteI really do tire of verbal battles after a while.
DeleteOne of us is being absurdly arrogant.
And there's only one way to find out who it is.
Sanna, while I'm not encouraging him to come after you, when he inevitably does feel free to tell him where I am.
And who I am, really. I suppose this has gone on long enough.
I think thats what the kids call a 'burn'.
ReplyDeleteWhat, did you look in the mirror?
DeleteYou should be so lucky to have anyone on your side.
ReplyDelete'Azreal' has no reason to mope.
'Azrael' is as at least as well loved as he is hated, and that's an aweful lot of love.
Count your blessings.