Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Quiet Spell

They say that no news is good news, and I wish I could tell you that it's true. On the one hand, Grandpa and I are just fine. Ryan is... well, he's still about the same. None of us have been injured in any substantial way. But that doesn't  mean things have gone smoothly. Far from it, actually.

 It all started almost two months ago, with a simple knock on the door. Grandpa had ordered Chinese, so neither of us were particularly suspicious when he opened it. I was in the other room, in fact, and I didn't even know there was anything strange going on until it had been a few minutes and he hadn't come back with the food.

When I approached, I was very confused. Instead of Grandpa talking to a delivery person, he was having a heated discussion with a ragged looking blonde woman. She looked homeless, honestly, but by the sound of it she definitely knew Grandpa. She was asking him to 'come back', to 'let David Banks out to play'. Grandpa introduced her as Jessica, and I now know her to be the woman from this blog. You probably won't be surprised to find out she's just as irrational in person. Annoyingly she insisted on calling me 'veal', presumably as an extension of her loud obsession with cannibalism. Grandpa was not exactly pleased that I came out to talk to her, but didn't try to get me to go back inside right away.

I got to hear her rambling, Grandpa's frustration and confusion, and the almost sitcommish ridiculosity of the situation. They were once close, Grandpa admitted to me sheepishly. Closer than I'd like to think about my Grandpa being with anyone. She made all kinds of ridiculous threats and suggestions, Grandpa countered all of them wearily, and it went on like that for a while, with me mostly just watching. At some point, though, Jessica got a bit too curious about me, and Grandpa made me go back inside. I got busy packing, so I don't know what happened next, but I know that when Grandpa came in a few minutes later we left almost immediately afterward.

Things have only gotten crazier since.


  1. If she insists on calling you Veal, insist on calling her Pest.

  2. Never understood why some people liked the idea of cannibalism. Anyway, I'd be careful to make sure that Jessica doesn't follow you guys. I'm sure Banks can handle himself, but that doesn't mean something can't happen.


  3. All the Monsters come,
    All drawn to your light,
    Looking for a tasty life.

    Just go run and hide,
    Go and bide your time,
    Tell yourself they have no right.

    But then soon you'll find,
    that your plight is trite,
    as dark taints your every sight.

    Despite all your light,
    you will lose the fight,
    for monsters have but one plight.

    The one thing they know,
    The one truth they hold,
    The one claim to take your life...

    Their might makes them right.


    1. Seriously reconsidering our policy on forcing you to learn to sing if you're gonna start spewing creepy little... haiku things? Is that what those are?

    2. No, a haiku has
      five syllables in the first
      line, seven in the

      second line, then five
      syllables in the last line
      Like what I have done.

    3. They're triads. Not a particularly popular form of poetry these days, but they have some roots in Celtic traditions, among other places.

    4. I imagined it as a rap and thought he was challenging you to a rap battle. D:

    5. Whatever it is, its creepy.

  4. It probably isn't much of a consolation, but just in case, you should know that she's just about as frustrating for us to deal with as she is for you.

    1. Not really a consolation, you guys signed up for this.